Just Blogging Along

     Punblogging - reporting one’s punning activities on one’s blog.  For example:

     I met a gentleman in the restroom today.  He was finely groomed, well dressed and in good physical shape.  He had that law enforcement look about him.  Upon further observation, I noticed that he was indeed wearing a holster and carrying a firearm.  I said to him, will you be making an arrest?  He laughed.  So I said, I see that you’re in the restroom; naturally I assumed it must be for a-rrest.  The gentleman chuckled once again, and said, hey, that’s a good one; I’ll have to remember that.  Debatable point.

     The dumbwaiter has been out of commission for some time now.  I called down to Medical Records and said, you know, that dumbwaiter has been out of work sometime now.  Has anybody looked into making a disability claim for him?  :o) 

     My whippet often gets cold in the winter.  This morning we went out and bought him a trench-coat.  Man, all the bitches are really after him now!  :o)  And he’s warm.  Checking out of Petsmart, Trouble was already sporting his new duds.  I said to the cashier, the little guy is 10 years old; that’s 70 to you and me.  How about a senior citizen discount?  It didn’t work.  :o(

     To celebrate the purchase, my wife and I stopped for a couple of slices at Mamaluks.  There was a sign in the window, “Help Wanted”.  I told the guy behind the counter that I was responding to his sign.  I said I  would be willing to help him out in getting rid of some pizza, so I didn’t expect to be charged.  That pitch for a discount didn’t work either.  :o(

     We bought some London Broil over at Walmart.  The clerk there had on a smock that said on the back, “How may I help you?”, or something to that effect.  I said to the guy, this meat is marked $5.10; you can help me out by letting me have it for 3 bucks.  No go.  Strike 3!

     I think there’s a certain value in blogging.  Getting one’s thoughts and feelings out of one’s head can be helpful.  It concretizes what one thinks and feels.  It organizes what one thinks and feels.  It allows the writer to go back and review the evolution of one’s thoughts and feelings.  It creates a direction which can be very helpful in setting goals and taking actions to achieve one’s goals.  It allows others to see what’s on your mind and give you feedback about it.

     I believe many successful people follow the idea of writing down their goals and setting deadlines for achieving them.  Blogging and the internet, simply provide another vehicle for doing this.  It has the very interesting aspect, if one chooses to use it in this way, of having one’s ideas open to the world.

     He’s back from London!  Talk about foreign  terrorism.  :o)

     Watching the ever reverent Imus is a ritual in my home.

     I’m a neurotic Jewish guy.  I got worries when I wake up in the morning.  Real or imaginary; I got worries.  Watching Imus helps me to put things in perspective.  It calms me down.  It’s very therapeutic.  When somebody can go on the air on a daily basis and talk about the leaders of our country as lying weasel bastards who are clueless, phoney and the dumbest men on the face of the planet, I somehow feel relief from my mundane problems.  Besides that, the man is downright rofl funny.

     Put your problems in perspective.  Check out MSNBC starting @ 6:00AM EST.  I know that Imus doesn’t need the promo from a dopey, four eyed ignorant weasel like me, writing on his blog that nobody’s going to read, but it’s a personal recommendation to help people reduce the stress of their morning worries.

     My wife and I were in Myrtle Beach on Christmas Day.  One of the few places open to eat was this cute artsy restaurant.  Everything on the menu was a play on words dealing with eggs.  Imagine letting a guy like me loose in this kind of setting.  They had Eggstraordinaire, Eggs-Ceptional, Eggs-traordinary and so on.

     Our host and waiter and us were all having a good time, eating and punning our way to culinary and brain-teasing ecstasy.  That is until the bill arrived.  All I said was, I’ll be paying with my American Eggspress Card.  :o)

     They sent out an email on Thursday.  They said to be careful not to overload the dumbwaiter with too many files.  If you do, the email admonished, the dumbwaiter will break.

     Immediatedly I shot off a message to Administration.  We need to hire a new waiter!  Apparently, the waiter we’ve got is not only dumb, but now we learn that he’s weak as well.  :o)